Sara Pascoe – Battersea Arts Centre

Sara Pascoe

Sara Pascoe is blonde, good looking and a talented comedienne. Her Christmas assembly was both funny and different, with the British Humanist Choir providing carols like O Come All Ye Faithless.

“Headmistress” Mrs Pascoe says that her Sixth formers are “good boys, they rejected my sexual advances” after Mrs Hammick sings I’m a Vegan, and before she claims to have been addressed by God in a supermarket. Unfortunately his reference to “3 in 1 – Me, Holy Ghost, Jesus” is misheard as “3 for 1 on cheeses”.

In the spirit of our PC world, she’s decided to replace the Nativity with an Interfaith Christmas, drop Jesus, more Moses; less Bible, more Muhammed; Buddhism is represented by a fat man stuck up a chimney; and Hinduism by Happy Krishnas. They’re replacing the Nativity with the story of Oedipus (well, he loved his mother!). Charles Darwin impregnates the still virgin Jocasta by IVF.

The Wise Men are Ganesh, Odin, and Princess Diana; the religious education teacher pretends to be Freddie Mercury. We get prophecies regarding Oedipus from the ancient gods of Greece and Rome, while Little Donkey becomes Little Wonky, as Oedipus walks with a limp. Naturally he sings Mother, and Freud talks about the Oedipus complex.

The moral is that charity is just for Christmas!

For future reference, Sara Pascoe is someone to watch out for, even if you don’t see this show.


About the author

Mark Taha