Relationships often seem like a puzzle to those who have a difficult time keeping one. This is especially true for highly-eligible bachelorettes who can’t find a partner that’s willing to commit to them long-term.
It can be frustrating to navigate the world of romance when no one sticks around, yet you know deep down that you’re quite the catch. The truth is, even the men who walk away may not exactly know why they’re letting go of someone great.
Apparently, the solution to this predicament lies in a powerful concept that most men and women don’t even know about: the hero instinct.
In this review, we’re going to talk about why the hero instinct is the best way to capture a man for good…
Tapping Into a Man’s “Inner Hero”
What makes a man a hero? For them, this involves:
- Making his loved ones happy by establishing himself as a reliable breadwinner.
- Living a meaningful life and being appreciated for his hard work and efforts.
- Being treated by others with respect.
All of these make up the man’s hero instinct, which is the primal desire or obsession that exists in ALL MEN. More than money, love, or sex, this is what men ultimately crave — to be the hero of the woman he desires.
The problem is, most women don’t know that this is the master key to a man’s heart, and men aren’t even self-aware that that is their primary motivation in life. As a result, many couples get their hearts broken because they have no idea how to bring out the best in each other.
Fortunately, James Bauer saw a distinct pattern in how men navigate relationships. He decided that it would be helpful to share this new discovery with women who are struggling to connect with their boyfriends or husbands. This is how His Secret Obsession finally came about.
Who is James Bauer?
James Bauer is a psychologist and a relationship coach who has worked with both men and women regarding relationship problems. Through his experience with thousands of clients, he eventually saw the common denominator that drives men to pursue relationships.
At one point, it became his obsession to nitpick why exactly men operate that way. Unlike other books that just make up terms without any scientific basis, James’ concepts are based on his extensive research as a psychologist.
Aside from His Secret Obsession, he also created another program called What Men Secretly Want. Here, the core concept is the “respect principle”. Like this program, it’s targeted towards women who want to understand men better and build more fulfilling relationships with them.
His Secret Obsession: What’s in This Program?
This program is divided into 2 parts, with a total of 17 modules. The first part zooms in on the hero instinct, and it explains how it works from an evolutionary perspective. Apparently, feeling like a hero isn’t just a man’s thing in the modern world. This desire has existed deep within the male species ever since humanity began!
Although the first part is a bit technical, this lays the groundwork for all the tips that will be discussed in the second part. This section focuses on triggering your man’s hero instinct. This is where James explains how secret signals can awaken the ultimate hero in your man. These signals include:
- The Glimpse Phrase: As the name suggests, this will give a man a glimpse of the real you without giving away too much. While this may not always progress a budding relationship to the next level, it will at least make a man feel intrigued by you, and the idea of you.
- The Fascination Signal: Showing interest is often a delicate balance. You can’t show that you’re too needy, yet you can’t be too cool and aloof, either. Here, James will show how you can retain a man’s attention so he never disappears on you.
- Silent Action Signals: Apparently, you can get a man’s full attention without even saying anything. With the right approach, you can send silent signals that will trigger a man to chase after your attention.
- The “I Owe You” Signal: By using men’s selective hearing, the “I Owe You” signal will make it easier for a man to trust you and open himself up to you. Eventually, you’ll become his number one confidant.
- Damsel in Distress Signal: Tired of being dismissed by your boyfriend or husband? Then this signal will teach you how to tap into his protective instincts and pay closer attention to you.
- The Private Island Signal: A lot of men may seem happy in their relationships, but unfortunately, they may not exactly see their girlfriends as “The One”. This signal can help you change your relationship status from “indefinite” to “forever”.
- The X-Ray Question: This will teach you how to ask the right questions regarding the status of your relationship.
- The Ex-Back Signal: Breakups are tough to deal with, and sometimes, both parties may not even totally want it. If you think your relationship is still worth saving, the Ex-Back Signal can help make your ex rethink his decision.
It also includes The “Secret Currency” of Happy Relationships, which will help prevent your man from becoming distant and emotionally unavailable. By investing a few seconds of your time on your relationship every day, your man will continue to strive being the hero that you deserve.
Who Does It Help?
This is mainly for women who want to improve their relationships with men. If you’re dealing with any of the following factors below, then this program may help:
- He seems bored and uninterested in the relationship.
- You sense that he can easily let go of what you have.
- You are not his priority.
- He doesn’t respond to you as favorably as he used to.
- He isn’t as romantic as he once was.
- The two of you have no talks about the future.
Although women are the target audience of this book, many reviews say that men can also read it to learn more about themselves. After all, it gives good explanations as to why men still value being a hero above everything else.
What Makes It Different from Other Programs?
His Secret Obsession connects the hero instinct to evolutionary psychology. Thus, you can be sure that it’s not just some made-up concept to appeal to its audience. It goes beyond the typical dating tips that tell you to prettify yourself in all ways possible.
It also highlights why proper communication is essential in relationships. Best of all, James explains his concepts in a way that’s easy to comprehend and apply in real life.
While most tips here are based on real psychological principles, James doesn’t go too in-depth about them. It could have been better if this part was explored a little more. That said, it’s still a helpful guide that may come in handy when you’re having trouble with your dating life.
Is This Applicable for All Situations?
This program can be applied in most phases of a relationship, ranging from the attraction phase, even to the post-breakup phase. No matter where your relationship is at, this program can offer explanations about why men behave the way they do.
Since this book was created to help straight women understand men better, the tips here are mainly based on heterosexual relationships. Homosexual individuals may learn something new here, but it’s not going to be as useful for them.
Is This Program Worth Getting?
His Secret Obsession costs $47 with a 60-day money-back guarantee. It’s not exactly a cheap price to pay for a book, but if you want to tackle your dating life in a different way, then it might be worth it. It can help answer some important questions, such as:
- What’s the common denominator of your failed relationships?
- Why do men lose interest, even when they seem happy?
- How can you attract men more easily?
- How can you make your current relationship more rewarding?
- What does the world really look like in a man’s mind?
However, you’ll only get your money’s worth if you’re open enough to this book’s ideas and you’re willing to put in the work. Otherwise, if you’re just going to use it half-heartedly, then it may not bring the positive change that you were hoping for.
Final Thoughts on His Secret Obsession
This book drives at a man’s main motivation for dating: feeling like a hero. Yes, it helps to build yourself up to become your best self, but what matters more is your ability to tap into a man’s hero instinct.
As this program will try to explain, keeping a man isn’t simply about knowing how to please him. It’s more about knowing how to give him chances to please you. Ultimately, a man is more likely to be in love if you make him feel that he’s rightfully earning it.
-End of this Secret Obsession review-